Self care in the first year after having a baby can feel out of reach. We hear a lot about how moms need rest, yet no one is arriving to put the laundry away or magically making all the chores go away.
I’ve sat with many moms in early motherhood through my work in Illinois. Over time, one truth stands out. The smallest things are often what help the most. Not giant solutions or overhauls, but little acts that turn a tough day into something a bit lighter.
Here you’ll find 10 realistic things that can help you feel more steady during baby’s first year. The ideas are split by the typical stages of the first twelve months. They’re grounded in what I’ve seen work for other moms. No perfect system needed, and no pressure to try everything at once. Some days will be neat, others messy. These are small stretches of self care that matter, even with life jammed full of feedings, night wakes, and busy thoughts.
Self Care Ideas for Months 0–4
The newborn stage is physically intense. Sleep is short, and it’s tempting to use every quiet minute for chores. But a little shift in priorities can go a long way.
1. Lie down when your body calls for it. If your baby finally falls asleep and you contemplate cleaning up the kitchen, pause and tune into your body. Giving yourself a few minutes to rest isn’t lazy, it’s the right kind of kindness.
2. Let someone else hold the baby. Whether it’s your partner, a friend, or a relative, let them take a turn while you step away. Lock the bathroom door and take the time for a long shower. Or grab a snack and sit somewhere you won’t be interrupted. Allow your body and mind a peaceful break.
3. Step away from your phone for part of the day. It’s natural to grab your phone for distraction when tired or lonely. Yet endless scrolling sometimes adds pressure, not relief. Try setting it down in another room for thirty minutes and see if you notice a difference. Less noise can mean more rest for your mind.
Self Care Ideas for Months 4–8
Around this time, routines may shift. Your baby might be more alert, and you could start to find tiny windows for new things.
1. Go outside for a short walk. Even if it’s only to the mailbox or the end of your street, changing your environment can help reset your senses.
2. Eat breakfast sitting down. Many moms grab bites while juggling a wriggly baby or skip eating altogether. Choose one breakfast, perhaps yogurt or eggs, and commit to eating it seated, even if it’s only a few minutes. This small act signals some care for yourself at the start of each day.
3. Say no without guilt. Sometimes your energy is low, and even short errands or visits can tip the scale. If an invite sounds exhausting rather than fun, skip it. Protecting your reserves is just as meaningful as anything else on your list.
Self Care Ideas for Months 8–12
As the first year continues, your days may gain some predictability. Babies become active, and it’s common to hit a wall from constant caregiving.
1. Take small breaks from being on duty. Maybe you step into another room and close your eyes and breathe, or hand bedtime over to someone else once a week. The focus isn’t the length of time, but the act of stepping aside. You deserve spaces to breathe.
2. Pick an outfit that helps you feel like you, not just what’s clean or closest. This might be a sweater you love or a pair of jeans that fit right. Moms have shared that getting dressed with intention made them feel more present in themselves.
3. Plan one thing each week that is for you, not about your baby. Maybe it’s a few pages of a new book, time for a quick craft, or a solo grocery trip with headphones in. These don’t need to be big or fancy. Just a pocket of time to remember your own interests.
One Self Care Step That Can Help in Any Stage
Asking for help can be the single most powerful act of self care, no matter where you are in the first year. Letting yourself lean on others is sometimes the hardest thing, especially when you believe you have to do it all alone. Yet I’ve seen many moms find relief when they finally say, “I can’t do all of this without some support.”
That help could look like someone taking over a nighttime feed, or just sitting beside you when words feel hard to find. You don’t need to be at your lowest to warrant a helping hand. Sometimes, just requesting a quiet afternoon or an extra household task takes a load off.
Telling the truth about your needs—whether it’s rest, quiet, or just listening—can become a healthy pattern that carries into later stages of parenthood. You might go on to use these habits when caring for a toddler, or even when your children are older.
At the Postpartum Depression Alliance of Illinois, parents can call or email us for support to find resources. There are support groups where sharing honestly is welcomed and moms can connect with others who understand what early motherhood really feels like. No pressure to have it all figured out, just a place to be heard. We can also help you find therapists who specialize in treating maternal mental health if you are experiencing pregnancy or postpartum anxiety, depression, or you need to process trauma or how motherhood is different from how you expected it to be.
A Year of Small Things That Can Add Up
Getting the hang of self care does not happen overnight. It is usually about small experiments and little changes that sometimes surprise you with their impact.
That first year with your baby is packed with changes, highs, lows, and learning. The ten self care steps here are simply ideas for places to pause and take a breath. You do more every day than anyone notices, and you’re already showing up over and over again.
Don’t wait to “deserve” a rest or believe you need to earn a break. Wanting time for yourself does not take away from your love for your baby. These small acts are a way to remind yourself you matter, too.
At the Postpartum Depression Alliance of Illinois, we understand the challenges new parents face. If you’re struggling please reach out to learn more about our resources How We Can Help. Connecting with others who understand your journey can provide comfort and guidance. You’re not alone in this, and support is always within reach.
You may also be interested in reading:
Risk Factors for Postpartum Depression and How to Seek Support
