Having a baby is a big change in life, one that’s full of joy and adjustments. But it can also bring unexpected feelings and thoughts. Some new parents experience something called “intrusive thoughts.” These are sudden, unwanted, and disturbing ideas that might pop into your mind when you’re least expecting it. When you’re just getting used to caring for your newborn, these thoughts can feel overwhelming and scary.

It’s important to know that you’re not alone and that thoughts don’t mean you are going to take action. They are just thoughts and in my many decades of experience, these types of thoughts happen because you care so much about your baby. For many of my clients, understanding what’s happening can lighten the burden they feel about having them and can also make these thoughts feel less powerful. Let’s take a closer look at these intrusive thoughts together and uncover why they happen and how to cope with them.

What Are Postpartum Intrusive Thoughts?

Intrusive thoughts can be surprising and unsettling. These thoughts often center around the idea of harm coming to the baby, whether it’s accidental or intentional. Some common examples might include worrying about the baby falling, getting hurt, or scenarios that are unsettling and distressing.

What makes these thoughts particularly shocking for new parents is their suddenness and intensity. You might find yourself having an image flash in your mind about dropping your baby, which can trigger fear and shame. It’s crucial to remember these thoughts are common, and they don’t mean you will act on them. Instead, they reflect concerns and anxieties that are normal during such a transformative period. Understanding them is the first step towards managing them better.

Our Director, Dr. Sarah Allen, frequently works with women who have scary intrusive thoughts and has found that many women are reluctant to talk about these types of thoughts for fear of stigma or judgement. She has made it her mission to bring more awareness to issues relating to maternal emotional health and breakthrough the stigma so women know that these types of thoughts are very common and they are not alone. It definetly doesn’t mean that they are not good moms!

In her article she covers the following topics:

Causes of Postpartum Intrusive Thoughts

How to Cope with Intrusive Thoughts

Seeking Help and Professional Support

Finding Relief and Moving Forward

 

 

How To Cope With Scary Intrusive Thoughts

 

Click Here to read our Director’s Full Article

 

 

At the Postpartum Depression Alliance of Illinois, we understand the challenges new parents face. If you’re struggling with intrusive thoughts, consider reaching out to learn more about our resources How We Can Help Connecting with others who understand your journey can provide comfort and guidance. You’re not alone in this, and support is always within reach.

 

You may also be interested in reading:

 

 

 

For more reading on this topic our Director, Dr. Sarah Allen, highly recommends the book Good Moms Have Scary Thoughts by Karen Kleinman & Molly McIntyre.